Tales From The Gaming Table

These are some of the memorable experiences and personal views accumulated over many years of gaming (since the 1980's). Most have a humuorous slant but some are just ramblings of an old-time gamer who wishes Magic: The Gathering would just release its hold on his wallet.

• Proposed Names for a Vampire Adventure:
  1. Vampires in the Mist
  2. Graveheart
  3. Do Vampires Dream of Undead Sheep?
  
  
• Describing halflings to first time gamers:
  ...just consider them as Ewoks who shaved all their fur off except for their feet
  
  
• Superflous Insanity Table for WFRP (roll a D6)
  1. Magic: the Spending
  2. Watching Titanic yet again and going "this is so gooood!"
  3. Becoming the fourth member of Hanson
  4. Paying 20 Million for Nicholas Anelka
  5. Being the 2nd person on the planet to buy the David Hasselhoff CD
  6. Memorizing all the tables in Rolemaster
  
  
• Crippling Injuries
  Ever had the luck (or lack of) of the dice do funny things to the characters? I had one player who kept getting critical hits to the legs: two successive characters ended up with crippling leg injuries (The second one died gloriously in battle in a cavalry charge with his wheelchair-chariot). His third character now insists on wearing plate armour leggings and has be given the nickname "Anderton*" by the other players...
  
  * For the non-followers of football, Anderton is the infamous English footballer who falls over injured when the wind changes direction
  
  
• Remedial Violence
  Having been a gamer for some time, I've always wondered why "serious gamers" deride hack-and-slash games or adventures. While I definitely agree that "Kill monster, take treasure, repeat until bored unconscious" gets stale very quickly, they can be fun and even theraputic if not overused.
  
  My own group seem to like this change of pace once in a while, usually after too many long, investigative adventures i.e. Power Behind The Throne. Probably something to do with all that suppressed frustration and hostility at being led by the nose, fed red-herrings, thwarted by cunning and untouchable NPCs, etc Even the most even-headed player in the group seemed to like having their characters going out and opening a whole crate of whup-ass once in a while. To this end may I present what I consider to be the best game for those requiring a dose of remedial violence:
  
  Phoenix Command by Leading Edge Games
  - All skills, stats, and rules are combat related
  - Half the rulebook consists of weapon stats
  - You think Rolemaster is precise? How about a unique damage table for each make of gun? What about separate tables for single shot, 3 round bursts and full auto modes?
  - And best of all, you can actually aim for the groin
  
  
• Roleplaying and Wrestling
  (Role-playing is probably a mandatory skill in modern sports entertainment... )
  
  Most of my PC group are great fans of wrestling. When we played Power Behing The Throne, the PCs came across a group of wrestlers at the Middenfest taking on all comers. The PC warrior and dwarf teamed up as the the 'Legion of Pain' and began gleefully indulging in their sad childhood wrestling fantasies. Before long (probably due to the alchohol consumed during the session) everybody was involved in and out of the ring. The highlight must be when the wizard cast Steal Mind on a wrestler in an attempt to give his team an edge and nobody noticed any difference (no brain, no pain). Still one of the most fondly remembered sessions ever..
  
  
• Probably one of the 10 worst ideas for a WFRP supplement...
  
  Mills & Boon - The High Romance supplement for WFRP
  
  New Skills:
  
  Ripping bodices
  Characters with this skill are well-versed in the art of denuding the heaving bosoms of womenfolk without marring their skin. ...Or getting his sensitive bits kicked all the way up to his nostrils.
  
  Look tough yet vulnerable
  Fortunate characters with his skill have a +30 Bonus to Fellowship when being viewed by womenfolk. Females looking on this character must make a Cool test at -30 or risk having their hearts beat faster. Males viewing their womenfolk viewing this character have to make a WillPower test at -30 to resist the urge to check up just how high his Toughness attribute is (e.g. by repeated applications of sharp or heavy objects).
  
  Spout flowery crap
  Characters with this more intimate variation of Fast Talk can apply this skill only when looking deep into the eyes of females. At the GM's discretion, the object of the character's attention has to make a WillPower test to avoid falling deeply and madly in love with the character. The GM is free to reward particularly good or bad lines with a bonus or penalty to resist. Example of bad lines:
  
  +20 Hey babe, wanna see my 2-hd sword (while jerking his groin helpfully)
  +10 Your eyes are as green as the pus that oozes from my Chaos mutations
  
  Note that particulalrly good lines may cause other males in the vicinity to make a WillPower test or puke.

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