How To Swear Like A Dwarf
Author's Note: I can't claim any credit for this one; its based on Christopher Perkins' table in his article 'Dwarven Etiquette' in Dragon #245. However, I removed all the weaker insults and then loaded my PC group's most creative cursor with beer and recorded these far more satisfying results below...
Andrew L
Jan 2000
Just roll a d100 or pick a result from each table A, B, and C and
let fly
| D100 | A | B | C |
| 01-04 05-08 09-12 13-16 17-20 21-24 25-28 29-32 33-36 37-40 41-44 45-48 49-52 53-56 57-60 61-64 65-68 69-72 73-76 77-80 81-84 85-88 89-92 93-96 97-00 |
incompetent stinking perfumed* cantankerous drooling beardless* hidebound gibbering repugnant babbling nitpicking clanless* pompous dangling slothful hideous tentacled warty dainty* witless craftless rickety girly corroded moth-eaten |
anvil-dropping lily-livered willow-waisted* cave-slinking pointy-earned* fish-catching toe-biting nib-chewing poetry-reading* rat-eaten porridge-eating ballet-dancing* axe-breaking nose-picking lice-ridden tree-climbing* hanky-waving* adle-pated lantern-lugging elf-kissing* two-faced mucus-oozing beard-shaving* milk-drinking tool-snatching* |
halfling's-armpit snotling-fondler* lump of antracite sissy* goblin/orc/troll-friend* pixie* cave-in troll-barf* thumb-basher gas spore pestie sewer rat crybaby* puke-for-brains rockrunt stench kow bat-dropping smudge-rubber oathbreaker* tunnel worm rust-bucket goblin/orc/troll-spawn* cave gherkin fossil stalactite |
Insults marked with an * are so exceptionally vile (to a dwarf) as to be considered fighting talk.
Home . Alternity . Legend of the 5 Rings . Warhammer FRP . Other.