My Ravings


Welcome to the ravings of a demented monk with an unhealthy obsession with computers, fantasy, and science fiction. If you are offended, join the crowd. Here are listed (in alphabetical order) the objects which are revered as legends together with the troll-leavings which should be flushed down the nearest outhouse.

 

Cool Stuff

Braveheart - The epic tale of the greatest patriot of Scotland which deservingly won a Best Picture Oscar. While history was 'bent' for the cinema, the battle scenes are the high points of the movie. For those historians who see red over the historical inaccuracies, go get a life. This is cinema. Entertainment. Who the hell wants to pay 10 bucks to watch a damned history lesson?

Harold J. 'Kit' Carson Knives - Lovingly made by a true master craftsman, these are in my opinion, the finest utility folders currently available. Own one, and you'll never buy another knife again.

Himalayan Imports - Run by a one-man aid programme named Bill Martino, this company provides the finest authentic khukuris from the traditional bladesmiths of Nepal. The money they receive for these fine tools go a long way towards enriching the lives of the master bladesmiths (and their families) in what is one of the poorest countries in the world today.

Hong Kong Action Movies - The Hong Kong film industry produces the finest martial arts movies bar none. For some truly epic stories of magic, romance, and arse-kicking action try: A Chinese Ghost Story I & II, The Iron Monkey, and Once Upon A Time In China II. These guys were flying way before The Matrix.

Legends of the Five Rings - A winner in both CCG and RPG form. A truly epic Oriental fantasy game of honor, duty and heroism.

Star Trek: TNG - The voyages of the USS Enterprise NC-1701D present the finest TV sci-fic stories ever told. The best reason for owning a television.

Star Wars Trilogy - Space opera at its zenith. A boy-hero, an ancient teacher, a feisty princess, a dashing rogue, and a walking carpet all feature in the greatest piece of cinematic magic ever the grace the screens.

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy - J.R.R. Tolkien's world brought to life to the delight of just about everybody who got into fantasy via his books. Again, those experts who gripe about accuracy should really get a life.

Warhammer Fantasy Roleplay - One of the best fantasy RPGs ever published. Has a unique gothic atmosphere, lightened with dollops of dark humour.

Wing Commander I & II - Two games that confirmed the PC as the premier games machine. A great war against a ruthless alien race. Cool starfighters. Vicious space dogfights. Every childhood sci-fic dream come true.

WWII Fighter Aircraft - Most pilots dream of flying a piston-engined fighter dating back to the days when men flew the machines, not a bank of computers. To really experience the joy of flying, go up in one of the few surviving airworthy examples of the P51D Mustang, the Spitfire IX, and the FW 190 D9.

 

Crap Stuff

Conan The Adventurer - The stupidest TV series ever made. To be fair, it doesn't have the budget of the Schwarzenegger movies, but it still deserves derision for its incredibly dumb plots, wooden cast, and lame fight scenes. There should be a surgeon general type caution displayed before each episode: Watching Conan can seriously impair your intelligence.

Film Tie-Ins - Without exception, computer game film tie-ins are the crappiest game software ever dreamed up. Stick to movies folks, and leave the gaming to the experts (like Blizzard, Westwood, and Lucasarts). Enter the Matrix? More like Enter the Moron...

Myst & Riven - Why do these jumped up screen savers keep selling and selling? Are the buyers being threatened with hideous torture or what?

Who Moved My Cheese - Did corporate IQs drop sharply? (if that is even possible). You can get better advice at dealing with change from watching Professional Wrestling...

 

 


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